Are you a helicopter parent? Of course not — but maybe you have a “friend” who is. Pass along these tips on making a smooth transition back to school, courtesy of Ken Haller, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics at Saint Louis University School of Medicine.
1. Encourage your children to discuss their problems, but let them come up with their own solutions. Problem solving is a great way for children to learn and grow.
2. Steer clear of battles such as disputing your child’s grades, discipline, placement on a team or squabbles with friends. Instead, enable your child to properly deal with his problems by asking him what should be done and offering possible solutions.
3. During homework time, be available to answer questions and clarify instructions. Avoid giving the answers or doing the work yourself, even if the assignment seems too difficult. Remember your job is to create a situation where your child can succeed. Provide the necessary supplies, create a quiet and well-lit study area and set aside time for homework.
4. Respect teachers’ schedules by making appointments and using e-mail. Your child’s teacher will be happy to meet with you, but she also needs time to teach and prepare for class. If you want to be involved, ask your child’s teacher how you can contribute to the classroom.
5. Teach your child to respect the authority of teachers and coaches. While it’s OK to question teachers and coaches, do not bad mouth them, break their rules or make excuses for your child.
6. Hold your children accountable and let them suffer the consequences of their actions. Especially by middle school, it is important to make your child responsible for studying, bringing homework home and turning in assignments.
7. If you’re concerned that your child is the victim or bullies or peer pressure, discuss your concerns with your child. Brainstorm appropriate responses, but try not to interfere at school unless your child is in danger.
8. Remember that your job is to prepare your child to be a responsible and capable adult, so decrease your involvement over time and let your child live his or her own life.