You may have had an exciting career as a banker, chef or publicist. But now that baby has arrived on the scene, you’ve bid adieu to your colleagues, corner office and expense account, and find yourself wondering, “Who am I?” Who knew you’d go existential?
Melissa Stanton, a former People magazine editor, gave up her celeb-filled life to become a SAHM. Stanton, author of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids, shares some tips for maintaining your identity in this new phase of life.
Take five: Being a mom is a job. You wouldn’t let work outside the home consume you 24-7, so don’t do it as a SAHM. You still need to see friends and be involved in activities you enjoy.
Know your net worth: Even though you’re not earning an income, you still work all day and deserve some free time and respect. There is value in what you do. If you were employed, wouldn’t you be paying someone to do your SAHM job? Think about that the next time anyone asks you what you did all day and why you need a break.
Stay current: Whether or not you think you want to go back to work, maintain your professional contacts and keep your skills up-to-date.
Give back: Engage in projects that use your non-mommy skills. Volunteering doesn’t mean you have to bake cupcakes — for example, take on something managerial. Be smart about volunteering: If you’re an accountant for instance, become the treasurer of an organization so you can make use of your training and expertise.
See in 3-D: Your identity encompasses many dimensions. You’re a mom as well as a wife, friend, attorney, etc. You’re a professional person currently doing something different. If you’re going to a social event, be prepared to comfortably and confidently answer the question, “What do you do?”
Think money, honey: After making your own money and having a sense of independence, you don’t want to feel like a financial prisoner on an allowance. Asking your partner for money can feel demoralizing. Before the baby arrives, work out how finances will be handled. And consider this: Taking charge of the family finances can lead to a sense of empowerment.
Visit stayathomesurvivalguide.com.