In his article “Eat Your Peas. Or Don’t. Whatever,” New York Times food critic and author Frank Bruni describes the extremes to which young children are straying - obesity on one end of the spectrum, an obsession with being thin on the other. These are subjects Bruni knows something about. In his recent memoir, Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater, Bruni, a man who makes his living eating, chronicles his bouts with bulimia and struggles with fluctuating weight. In the Eat Your Peas article, he discusses the challenge for parents in this age of extremes. It’s “how to coach children away from unhealthy eating without sowing panic; how to make them conscious of their intake without making them too self-conscious about its consequences.”
We asked Lynn Grefe, CEO of the National Eating Disorders Association, how to accomplish this. She offers the following advice:
Dieting
A parent who is constantly dieting isn’t setting a good example. “The right example is to eat in a healthy fashion and not to set up food as the culprit … There’s really no such thing as bad foods. It’s about the moderation of foods.” (The exception: You truly do have a health issue and need to be on a diet.)
Liquid detox/Cleansing diets
A quick word on these fad diets of the moment which promise a “cleanse” after a certain period of drinking various concoctions. “It’s not healthy. It’s not the way that we’re supposed to be living.”
Talking the talk
A parent who is always asking if she’s fat or whether certain clothes make her butt look big is sending the wrong message. The focus is shifted to weight rather than “ who we are as people.” Teach kids that they should be healthy for the size that fits their body.
Walking the walk
“If a parent is on a treadmill for three hours watching TV, then what kind of signal is she sending to her child? That’s not moderation.” (The exception: You’re training for the marathon.) “People who are doing extremes in their own life, then, of course, those extremes are going to run down on the kids.” Obviously, exercise in and of itself is fine and part of a healthy lifestyle.
Enjoying food
Put the joy back into mealtime. “It’s terrible that people are setting food up as the enemy. Food is supposed to be a joyous time. We sit down to meals. We break bread. It’s supposed to be a nice time where we meet and compare notes and ask, ‘How was your day?’”
Adding perspective
If your DD comes home and tells you her BFF won’t eat any sugar, explain that that’s not a healthy approach. Try not to criticize the friend but rather the behavior. You might also want to suggest that the food restriction in question may be related to a health issue.
Being aware
“No child should be losing her self-esteem over this. And that’s what’s happening. Even if they don’t develop an eating disorder, girls think they’re never perfect. They never feel quite right. We should be measuring the size of our hearts and not the size of our hips.”
For more info., visit nationaleatingdisorders.org.