Until parenthood, you achieved most of what you wanted to in life: degrees (yes, multiple) from an Ivy (or the equivalent), a glamorous and/or lucrative and fulfilling career, and marriage to someone with equally impressive credentials. But becoming a parent seems to have messed with that impeccable track record. The recipe for success that worked so well in other areas of our lives doesn’t necessarily bring the desired results when it comes to caring for and raising kids.

Actress, author and mom Amy Wilson knows all about that. She says sometimes her kids are happiest when she’s at her “most half-assed.” That’s pretty much the tenor of her LOL book When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, The Worrier, The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer & Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be. Wilson admits she used to overthink every aspect of parenting, including “what [her son] should wear to school for Orange Day.” She’s since learned to relax and not fall prey to the helicopter parenting craze. Creator of the one-woman touring show Mother Load, Wilson shares some of her secrets from the trenches of imperfect parenthood:

Studying Less - You cannot prepare for parenthood. I thought you could. I tried reading every parenting book. Your theory about your own baby is better than anyone else’s.

Taking 5 - You have to unplug sometimes no matter how dedicated a mom you are. It’s okay to go to the movies with a friend who doesn’t have kids. Give yourself little tastes of the life you used to have.

Feeding Yourself - A happy mother is a fulfilled one. Whether it’s playing tennis or working, it’s okay for a mom to find something that feeds her.

Measuring up - You don’t have to be perfect at something to be worthwhile.

Less is More - Your Herculean efforts don’t get rewarded. You don’t have to try as hard as you think you do to please your children. All of this stuff you do to be a better mother is just distracting you. My kids care if I’m reading Harry Potter with them.

Work in Progress - Motherhood isn’t something you solve once. The stakes are always being upped.

Getting Over It - Your kids aren’t going to come home and say, “The snack you made for the ride home from school was great.” Your husband isn’t going to comment, “I can’t believe you organized the kids’ sock drawer so well.” It’s hard to be a good mom if all you’re doing is seeking approval for your mothering skills.

Available at amazon.com.

POSTED IN: Books, Parenting, UrbanBaby Picks