Childcare

She’s in your house almost every day; she bathes your children, she eats at your table, she knows your schedule. You are far more involved than roommates. And yet you may never know what your nanny’s life is really like or what she thinks of yours. But you may be able to catch a glimpse in Just Like Family: Inside the Lives of Nannies, the Parents They Work for, and the Children They Love, a new book by Tasha Blaine.

Blaine worked as a nanny after earning her MFA, thinking it would be an easy job that would leave her with time to write. She planned to be a nanny for a year. She only lasted six months. And now, five years later, her book condenses a wealth of research and investigation on the lives of professional caregivers into the tales of three different nannies: Claudia is a Carribbean immigrant working for a wealthy NYC couple, Kim is a wannabe-mom and divorcee in Texas who takes in a live-in gig that she soon has cause to regret, and Vivian is the highest of high-class nannies in Boston. Their travails form the backbone of the book: frustration over parents who don’t value their input or pile them with menial jobs, the difficulty of staying quiet when a parent is making decisions the nannies disagree with, personal problems that hijack the energies they need on the job.

Portraits of the parents they work for emerge through the nannys’ filters, but this is no Nanny Diaries-style slag on parents. All of Blaine’s characters are flawed and real; take, for instance, the lengths to which Claudia’s employers go to help her after an ex drains her bank account and she faces eviction. On the other hand, witness Vivian’s mother-like pain over her four-year-old twin charges readying to go to school, a pain callously ignored by her discomfited employers.

Anyone who’s been on either side of the nanny-parent relationship will find Just Like Family absorbing; a good, long look at this relationship that’s so complex, so guarded, so intimate and so important all at once.

Cloth or disposable? Do you even need to ask? Even the greenest of them all cannot convince herself to wash diapers when the trashcan is so convenient.

Think again: Bambino Mio has come up with a simple diapering system that gives you the best of both. This popular European brand (big in the U.K.) has revolutionized the idea of “reusable nappies” with a biodegradable liner (to flush), cotton diaper and waterproof cover (to wash and wear again) that extends through the potty training years. Not only will you do the environment a favor, but you will save some money in the long run after the initial investment of a starter set.

Don’t knock it ’till you try it.

Available at giggle.com.

This Father’s Day, you want to initiate your favorite dad-to-be into the club — too bad he’s a nervous wreck about holding a newborn.

Comic and filmmaker Chris Mancini explores impending fatherhood in his new book Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad. The Los Angeles-based pop presents a modern take on what to expect from a male perspective (Mr. Spock vs. Dr. Spock). This play-by-play for dads, from pregnancy and delivery to the adjustment period and the infant years, includes anecdotes from the author’s time in the trenches that will quell the nerves of many fathers-to-be.

Available at amazon.com.

Memorial Day kicks off the summer travel season — and those who find a good deal will be hitting road or taking to the friendly skies. But what to pack in baby’s suitcase? Below, the expert physicians at MommyDocs share their must-haves to avoid a vacation-induced flu:

Nasal aspirator: Babies haven’t quite figured out how to clear their own tiny nostrils and will need help from Mom. A nasal bulb syringe can help remove bothersome boogies from the nose.

Medicine: Talk to your doctor about what is best to have on hand for your child. These may include items such as nasal saline drops, fever reducing medications, and drinks to rehydrate and replace electrolytes. You’ll also want to make sure that any medicine you carry has not expired, and that you’re aware of the appropriate dosages based on your child’s weight. Never give medication to an infant, especially under the age of 3 months, without first consulting your physician. And always contact the doctor for a fever (100.4 F or greater) in an infant under 3 months of age or for any medical concerns in a child of any age.

Thermometer: Make sure you have a good thermometer and know how to use it. For infants, especially under 3 months of age, temperatures should always be taken rectally with a digital thermometer, like a Vicks digital thermometer. A great option once children have graduated from rectal temps is the Braun ThermoScan ear thermometer.

Your doctor’s phone number: Always have your doctor’s number on speed dial or somewhere very easy to find, such as in your wallet or glove compartment.

Hand sanitizer: Limit your child’s germ-spreading and germ-getting by enforcing a strict hand-washing policy. If available, use water and soap, scrubbing for at least 20 seconds. Another great option is an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Just be sure it is completely rubbed in and kept out of reach of children.

Tissues: Teach children to avoid touching their eyes, nose and mouth as much as possible since germs can spread this way. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze and remember to throw the tissue in the trash after you use it. Also, encourage everyone to direct coughs and sneezes into their elbows, not their hands.

Visit mommydocs.com.

A string around your finger, a Post-it on the bathroom mirror or an Outlook calendar was enough reminder to eat during your busy pre-baby life, but now you’ve got two mouths to feed.

The Essential Breastfeeding Log: A Feedings Tracker and Baby-Care Organizer for Nursing Moms is just that — a spiral-bound journal that helps your tally feedings, diaper changes and naps, not to mention your own post-partum workouts and any noteworthy milestones. Whether you’re exclusively breastfeeding, pumping or supplementing with formula, this log will keep you on track.

Now…what was it you were doing?

Available at essentialbreastfeedinglog.com.

Even if your entire neighborhood was vaccinated, you’re still afraid of that three-letter word that can wreak havoc on your household. Yes, it’s flu season.

The Say Boo to the Flu program offers prevention tips (from moms, teachers and microbiologists), as well as handy features including a hand-washing reward chart and cleaning recommendations. Their tips for scaring away germs includes:

Wash hands frequently. Wash hands with warm water and soap for at least 20 seconds.

Disinfect germ hot spots. Kids can touch up to 300 surfaces in 30 minutes, so disinfect the surfaces kids touch most frequently, like doorknobs, light switches, faucets or plastic toys.

Do the elbow cough. Cough and sneeze into your elbow instead of your hands to help prevent the spread of germs from touch.

Follow good health guidelines. Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep to help boost your body’s ability to fight the effects of colds and the flu.

Visit sayboototheflu.com.

The holidays are, at their best, a time of appreciation, so we’d like to take this opportunity to thank you, our faithful, funny, intelligent and inspiring readers. UrbanBaby will be back on the beat in 2009, to bring you a hip daily dose of style, gear, tips, tricks and everything else to help you have a blast with your kids. Until then, take a look back at some favorites from the past year.

1. Stay savvy, smart and sane as a SAHM.

2. Juggle not one baby, but two (or more).

3. Teach your kid it’s chic to be a geek.

4. Get ready to make a comeback.

5. Help your DD act her age.

6. Make time to work out — even while pregnant.

7. Find a job that’s family friendly.

8. Kick postpartum depression to the curb.

9. Turn a picky eater into a little foodie.

10. Raise a bilingual child. Si, se puede.

Still looking for the perfect present? Check out the UrbanBaby gift guide.

Happy holidays!

You may have had an exciting career as a banker, chef or publicist. But now that baby has arrived on the scene, you’ve bid adieu to your colleagues, corner office and expense account, and find yourself wondering, “Who am I?” Who knew you’d go existential?

Melissa Stanton, a former People magazine editor, gave up her celeb-filled life to become a SAHM. Stanton, author of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids, shares some tips for maintaining your identity in this new phase of life.

Take five: Being a mom is a job. You wouldn’t let work outside the home consume you 24-7, so don’t do it as a SAHM. You still need to see friends and be involved in activities you enjoy.

Know your net worth: Even though you’re not earning an income, you still work all day and deserve some free time and respect. There is value in what you do. If you were employed, wouldn’t you be paying someone to do your SAHM job? Think about that the next time anyone asks you what you did all day and why you need a break.

Stay current: Whether or not you think you want to go back to work, maintain your professional contacts and keep your skills up-to-date.

Give back: Engage in projects that use your non-mommy skills. Volunteering doesn’t mean you have to bake cupcakes — for example, take on something managerial. Be smart about volunteering: If you’re an accountant for instance, become the treasurer of an organization so you can make use of your training and expertise.

See in 3-D: Your identity encompasses many dimensions. You’re a mom as well as a wife, friend, attorney, etc. You’re a professional person currently doing something different. If you’re going to a social event, be prepared to comfortably and confidently answer the question, “What do you do?”

Think money, honey: After making your own money and having a sense of independence, you don’t want to feel like a financial prisoner on an allowance. Asking your partner for money can feel demoralizing. Before the baby arrives, work out how finances will be handled. And consider this: Taking charge of the family finances can lead to a sense of empowerment.

Visit stayathomesurvivalguide.com.

A trip to the E.R. with a child often means hours of waiting, needles, the stress of watching your baby in discomfort, and docs who look nothing like George Clooney. But it’s still your job to alleviate the trauma for your child.

Pediatrician Dr. William Sears, best-selling author of more than 30 parenting books and father of eight, says an emergency room visit is a chance to shine as a parent. He spoke to UrbanBaby about some easy things you can do to keep the fear factor to a minimum.

Stress less: Stay calm. An anxious parent makes for an anxious child.

Comedy hour: Humor is the best medicine. Crack a joke or act silly to diffuse tension.

Mind over matter: Keep in mind that children who feel better, heal better.

Security blanket: Pack a favorite comfort item — a stuffed animal, rattle, or book.

Advocate: Speak up. Ask questions, update hospital personnel of any change in your child’s condition, and take notes. You’re there to represent your child and to make informed decisions on her behalf.

Hand holders: At the hospital, ask for a child life specialist or social worker. A child life specialist has been specially trained to help little patients and their families cope with the stress of a hospital visit.

Needle know-how: Almost every kid fears the dreaded needle. Ask if the hospital has a topical anesthetic such as Zingo.

Pain meds: Feel free to request pain medicine for your pride and joy. Little known fact: Asking the E.R. intake personnel (receptionist) for pain medication can sometimes fast-track junior’s case (translation: she’ll get to see the doctor sooner).

Honesty: Tell your child what to expect, and tell the truth — you want her to trust you. If a needle is in her future, say, “You’ll feel a little stick, and it will last as long as it takes to say your name.” Draw pictures to help explain what’s happening: If your child is getting stitches, sketch out a set of railroad tracks and tell her how it will bring the two sides of the wound together.

Scope it out: Not all emergency rooms are created equal. Some are staffed with pediatricians and have a kid-friendly waiting room; others do not. It pays to do your research before an emergency happens. Call or visit the E.R. and find out if they have pediatricians, a pediatric intensive care unit and child life specialists.

Visit getthehospital411.com.

One crying, fussy baby who seems allergic to shuteye is bad enough. With two, it’s awfully tempting to switch from mocktails to cocktails. But having twins doesn’t have to mean double trouble.

Christina Boyle and Cathleen Stahl, both mothers of twins, are the authors of Twin Set: Moms of Multiples Share Survive & Thrive Secrets. Below are their tips from the trenches of twinhood:

Family dinner: Feeding the little guys simultaneously, whether via breast or bottle, can help sync their napping and nighttime sleeping schedules. As for logistics, perch the babies in bouncy or Boppy seats to make yourself a lean, mean, feeding machine.

Top of the line: Invest in a hospital-grade super double pump.

Super saver: Although they don’t advertise it, many companies, especially the big chains, offer twin discounts. Just ask.

M.D. 2.0: Find a pediatrician who can accommodate twins, meaning one who is familiar with the special developmental issues they face…and one whose office has a front door wide enough for your double stroller.

Cast of thousands: Line up as much help as possible for the first few weeks. This allows you to sleep and take mini mental health breaks.

Diaper duty: One big challenge is deciding where to put the “other” baby. With younger infants, use one crib or bassinet and take an assembly-line approach to changing. A portable basket stocked with diapers, wipes, ointment and a pad is a good option once babies grow older.

Visit twinsetmoms.com.