UrbanBaby Buzz
Michael Phelps isn’t the only one who had a victorious summer. QT with your kids helped the whole family get on track for the season ahead. With the help of some well-placed advice, you (finally!) got them to:
And let us not forget about the Dara Torres-inspired supermoms. Summer was your time to shine as you were able to:
All in all, a gold medal summer.
Although Gossip Girl is your biggest guilty pleasure, it also represents one of your biggest fears — that your kids could end up like those bed-hopping, text-happy teens.
Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., and Jean Kilbourne, Ed.D. (of award-winning Killing Us Softly) are the authors of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What Parents Can Do To Protect Their Kids. Below are their tips for managing media in your family and counteracting inappropriate messages about sex in today’s 24/7 media world.
Logo a No-Go: Make your house as unmedia and unlogo-focused as possible.
Get Unplugged: Avoid electronic toys linked to marketing. No televisions or computers in kids’ bedrooms.
Be Realistic: It’s not practical to protect kids from all forms of media all the time, so moderate their media interaction. Limit screen time — this teaches kids to self-regulate. Remember, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for kids under the age of 2.
Just Deal: If you and your child see a movie trailer that’s far more sexually charged than the PG film you’re about to see, talk about it. Ask her why she liked the trailer. Tell her that just because there’s, say, a pretty girl in the movie, doesn’t mean it’s age-appropriate.
Stay Connected: Communicate with your kids. You want them to feel it’s helpful to talk to you, especially as they get older. So, if your darling Madison sees a nail polish commercial and mentions that her BFF is allowed to paint her tootsies, have a give-and-take conversation about it. Include, “It’s fun to put on nail polish, but we don’t do it in our house yet.”
Play the Field: Encourage open-ended play — dolls, blocks, art supplies, dress-up, storytelling — because it promotes imagination, socialization and problem solving. Keep in mind that online communities such as Club Penguin and Webkinz can be isolating and are about virtual lives instead of real world experience.
Gender Bender: Expose kids to a broad range of activities and try to avoid stereotypes. Teach kids that boys and girls can be friends, not just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Available online at amazon.com.
Your friends have shared their must-haves, and the salesperson at your local megastore gave you a checklist. Still, with all the choices out there you have no idea where to begin when it comes to buying baby gear.
Look no further: Giggle’s new Guide to Baby Gear gives the 411 on everything you need for a newborn, infant and toddler, from carriers and cribs to sun protection and smoke detectors. Written by founder Ali Wing, the guidebook offers the easy-to-follow and fun-to-read advice that’s made this hip baby shop a favorite resource.
The choice is yours.
Available at giggle.com.
Are you a helicopter parent? Of course not — but maybe you have a “friend” who is. Pass along these tips on making a smooth transition back to school, courtesy of Ken Haller, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics at Saint Louis University School of Medicine.
1. Encourage your children to discuss their problems, but let them come up with their own solutions. Problem solving is a great way for children to learn and grow.
2. Steer clear of battles such as disputing your child’s grades, discipline, placement on a team or squabbles with friends. Instead, enable your child to properly deal with his problems by asking him what should be done and offering possible solutions.
3. During homework time, be available to answer questions and clarify instructions. Avoid giving the answers or doing the work yourself, even if the assignment seems too difficult. Remember your job is to create a situation where your child can succeed. Provide the necessary supplies, create a quiet and well-lit study area and set aside time for homework.
4. Respect teachers’ schedules by making appointments and using e-mail. Your child’s teacher will be happy to meet with you, but she also needs time to teach and prepare for class. If you want to be involved, ask your child’s teacher how you can contribute to the classroom.
5. Teach your child to respect the authority of teachers and coaches. While it’s OK to question teachers and coaches, do not bad mouth them, break their rules or make excuses for your child.
6. Hold your children accountable and let them suffer the consequences of their actions. Especially by middle school, it is important to make your child responsible for studying, bringing homework home and turning in assignments.
7. If you’re concerned that your child is the victim or bullies or peer pressure, discuss your concerns with your child. Brainstorm appropriate responses, but try not to interfere at school unless your child is in danger.
8. Remember that your job is to prepare your child to be a responsible and capable adult, so decrease your involvement over time and let your child live his or her own life.
As World Breastfeeding Week comes to a close, this favorite conversation piece among moms continues to be hot topic. (Should you do it? When do you stop? To pump or not to pump?)
But if you’re really just in the mood for a chuckle, check out If These Boobs Could Talk: A Little Humor to Pump Up the Breastfeeding Mom. This lighthearted book is full of tips, trivia, questions and quizzes on latching, lactation and the like. Cartoon illustrations help highlight essential points like “Top 10 Things Your Boobs Would Say If They Could Talk” and “How to Find Your Inner Hottie.”
And keep up the debate.
Whether staying local or traveling cross-country this summer, safety comes first. We checked in with pediatrician and child safety expert Dr. Laura Jana, on tips she applies to her own life as a mother of three. “I don’t know any parent who wants to skimp on safety,” she says. Dr. Jana advises that safety is not an option or a compromise. Make it part of your family’s non-negotiable routine.
In Cars
Use a car seat as long as possible — until the child no longer fits within the weight and height limits of the seat. Look for a car seat with side wings by the head and a deep body on the sides, to optimize head and neck protection. Comfort is an added feature: If the child is content, he won’t mind sitting in it.
In Taxis
Remember that taxis are vehicles too, and holding a child on your lap does not provide magical protection. For an infant, opt for a car seat system attached to a stroller. Quickly click the car seat into place, and store the stroller in the cab’s trunk.
On Planes
Consider buying a seat for a child under age 2, and sit him in a car seat on the plane (if that’s not possible, look for flights that are not as busy and may have a chance of an empty seat). Front pouch carriers are OK, except for takeoff and landing. For lighter travel, the CARES child restraint is an FAA-approved harness-style child safety device for kids 22 to 44 lbs.
And remember to model good behavior for your child: Wear a seatbelt in the car, a lifejacket on a boat and a helmet on a bike.
As a new parent, do you laugh in the face of sleep? Don’t. Experts recommend 8 hours a night for adults (it’s good for you — really!), and of course more for growing babies and kids.
Make sure the whole family is catching their zzzzs. Below, Molly Morgan of Creative Nutrition Solutions offers some simple tips to better your bedtime:
Loud and clear: While fire engines and even a dripping faucet can keep you up at night, a lack of familiar sounds may make it hard to sleep. Try music, a fan or wind machine to help create a soothing environment.
Hot or not: Sleeping in a hot room can disrupt slumber. Use a fan or air conditioner to cool summer nights.
Fade to black: Dark environments help induce sleep. Go for room-darkening shades to help little ones nap during the day and keep out unwanted light at night.
Sleepy shades: Cool colors, like blue, green and violet help calm and relax the body. Use them in the nursery and in your boudoir as well.
To the mattresses: Invest in quality mattresses — your back, and your brain, will thank you.
There’s an “f” word that’s a lot longer than four letters but could just as easily sink a job interview if it comes out of your mouth too soon after meeting your perspective employer: “family-friendly,” as in family-friendly work environment.
Lori Long, Ph.D. and author of Family-Friendly Work: Finding the Balance Between Employment and Enjoyment offers some tips for subtly sussing out whether a company is mom-friendly and offers a flexible work schedule:
Now about that golden parachute…
There are so many things to worry about during pregnancy — what cheese you can eat, what stroller to invest in, whether to try for a natural birth sans the epidural — that many women tend to forget about themselves. Well, in a way, the birth really is all about you.
Taking care of yourself (and your emotional well-being) is key. There are even some simple things you can do during pregnancy to reduce your risk of developing postpartum depression. Dr. Lucy Puryear, author of Understanding Your Moods When You’re Expecting: Emotions, Mental Health, and Happiness — Before, During, and After Pregnancy, offers tips for alleviating stress and focusing on self-care:
South Beach, Hollywood and Scarsdale are fine places for kids to visit, unless those locales have the word “diet” in them. In a world where carbs and sugar have been so vilified, it’s important for parents to lay the groundwork for a healthy attitude toward food.
Donna Fish, a social worker specializing in eating disorders and the author of Take the Fight Out of Food: How to Prevent and Solve Your Child’s Eating Problems, offers tips on how children can enjoy real food for real life:
Super Bad: When eating diet-challenged foods such as fries or a donut, try not to say “This is bad for me” in front of your child (no matter how you feel).
Model Citizen: Set a good example. Stop eating after one portion. Show enthusiasm for your food.
Adults Only: Being a good role model doesn’t mean you can’t be on your own, say, low-carb diet. But your mini-me shouldn’t have the same food restrictions.
Clear Signals: Teach kids to stay connected to their body signals. Eat when hungry. Stop when full.
Intervention: Some kids have trouble self-regulating. It’s acceptable to tell a child who has trouble with intuitive eating, “It’s OK. You’ve had enough.” Many parents are held hostage by a fear of creating an eating disorder when in fact, a little parental guidance is in order.
Mirror, Mirror: Keep your vanity hidden inside your walk-in closet. Never say, “Do I look fat?” “I feel fat,” or variations thereof.
Forbidden Fruit (Or Cupcake): Prohibiting a child from eating junk food makes those treats all the more desirable. And when kids do have access to the banned treats at school or on a playdate, they become fixated on them, and all hopes of portion control go out the window.
Food for Thought: Be kid-relevant when explaining nutrition — for example, “You need to eat protein so you can concentrate during your soccer game,” or “Eat well and you’ll grow into those rollerblades.”
Enough: Kids should learn the concept of moderation. When parents lay the right foundation for good eating, children can navigate well for themselves.
Piece of cake.
