Posts Tagged ‘155’

You may have had an exciting career as a banker, chef or publicist. But now that baby has arrived on the scene, you’ve bid adieu to your colleagues, corner office and expense account, and find yourself wondering, “Who am I?” Who knew you’d go existential?

Melissa Stanton, a former People magazine editor, gave up her celeb-filled life to become a SAHM. Stanton, author of The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids, shares some tips for maintaining your identity in this new phase of life.

Take five: Being a mom is a job. You wouldn’t let work outside the home consume you 24-7, so don’t do it as a SAHM. You still need to see friends and be involved in activities you enjoy.

Know your net worth: Even though you’re not earning an income, you still work all day and deserve some free time and respect. There is value in what you do. If you were employed, wouldn’t you be paying someone to do your SAHM job? Think about that the next time anyone asks you what you did all day and why you need a break.

Stay current: Whether or not you think you want to go back to work, maintain your professional contacts and keep your skills up-to-date.

Give back: Engage in projects that use your non-mommy skills. Volunteering doesn’t mean you have to bake cupcakes — for example, take on something managerial. Be smart about volunteering: If you’re an accountant for instance, become the treasurer of an organization so you can make use of your training and expertise.

See in 3-D: Your identity encompasses many dimensions. You’re a mom as well as a wife, friend, attorney, etc. You’re a professional person currently doing something different. If you’re going to a social event, be prepared to comfortably and confidently answer the question, “What do you do?”

Think money, honey: After making your own money and having a sense of independence, you don’t want to feel like a financial prisoner on an allowance. Asking your partner for money can feel demoralizing. Before the baby arrives, work out how finances will be handled. And consider this: Taking charge of the family finances can lead to a sense of empowerment.

Visit stayathomesurvivalguide.com.

There’s an “f” word that’s a lot longer than four letters but could just as easily sink a job interview if it comes out of your mouth too soon after meeting your perspective employer: “family-friendly,” as in family-friendly work environment.

Lori Long, Ph.D. and author of Family-Friendly Work: Finding the Balance Between Employment and Enjoyment offers some tips for subtly sussing out whether a company is mom-friendly and offers a flexible work schedule:

• Look for signs that people who work there have kids. Are there family photos, fingerpaintings or homemade mugs scattered throughout the cubicles?
• Ask to talk to your (possible) future colleagues. Inquire what it’s like to work there. If the company is serious about hiring you, they’ll try to accommodate such requests.
• Be on the lookout for a company that offers family-oriented benefits such as a lactation room or on-site childcare.
• A family-friendly company (or boss) typically has well-defined standards for measuring performance and/or productivity. If the powers that be don’t have a true way of assessing these, they may rely solely on how much face time you put in.
• Consider asking your current employer whether a more flexible schedule is possible, even if the company has never before made such accommodations. Never say never.

Now about that golden parachute…