You want all the best for your child - the best nursery school, the best ongoing school, the best extracurriculars, the best music and toys for enhancing development, even the best birthday party with the best party favors. To secure many of the above “bests,” some parents hire the best tutors, coaches and educational consultants. So what happens to our kids - when we continue in overdrive parenting - as they head out of urban babyhood and the early school years into the tween and teen years? See below for one scenario.
Last Thursday, the New York Post printed a first-person account of how Tracey Jackson, the screenwriter of Confessions of a Shopaholic, “created and tamed a teen monster.” Jackson and her family live on the UES on Madison Avenue. Her daughter Taylor attended private school and circulated in a world where “16- or 17-year-old boys go down to clubs, buy $3,000 tables with $1,000 bottles of booze.” Taylor would charge $1,000 a month on her parents’ account at the Three Guys diner, $500 at iTunes and think nothing of tossing $12,000 of designer clothing on the floor of her bedroom. Jackson talks of a 13th birthday soiree at Soho House with a private movie screening where the partygoers’ behavior was so appalling the night ended with $200 in damages to the screen (The kids had hurled shoes at it.).
The next day, the Post printed Taylor’s side of the story, a story of shopping at Barney’s, Bergdorf’s and Bendel’s and eating at Philippe and Mr. Chow. To undo years of overly-permissive parenting in which limits were in short supply, Taylor’s mom engaged in her own brand of tough love: She sent Taylor to teach and live in the slums of India, and filmed the whole trip for a documentary. Both mother and daughter speak of Taylor’s eventual transformation after the India excursion/”experiment.”
You can debate Jackson’s method for unspoiling her DD and her true motive in following her daughter to India with a photographer in tow. But the real take-away message from this story is: How can we make sure our own kids don’t follow in Taylor’s designer heels and go the way of the characters on Gossip Girl? How do you keep a kid grounded in the 10021 zip code (and others like it)? We don’t have the answer. But it certainly gets you thinking.
[…] love an urban baby, honestly? — Urban Baby opens up a discussion (ongoing) about the effects of all this preening and overweening, wondering, “How do you keep a kid grounded in the 10021 ZIP code (and others like […]
April 6th, 2010 at 9:30 amThe most powerful ‘method’ for unspoiled child-rearing is a parent that sets an example. While I (weakly) applaud Jackson for recognizing she has spoiled Taylor, a 3-week trip to India to do laudable work, only to return to their previous lifestyle of the UES, has only a small chance of changing her daughter’s life.
I might feel differently if Ms. Jackson changed her own lifestyle and brought her family with her, such as involving themselves in designating their overabundance of income on charitable programs, while downsizing their lifestyle.
If Taylor changes permanently, it will be a testament to her inner motivations, with very little help from mom. But what incentive does she have, when she can always run back to her life of luxury?
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