UrbanBaby San Francisco

Remember that scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the ’70s one, not the wretched remake) where a candy-store operator sang The Candy Man and started showering chocolates and candy on the hungry young customers in his store? And you were watching with your mom and dad, and you had maybe a container of lousy Junior Mints if anything, and you drooled so much your popcorn got wet?

If you remember it, that’ll approximate the feeling you get when you enter Miette, the exquisite Hayes Valley candy store. A sister store to the Miette cake store at the Ferry Building, this airy, Parisian little niche is papered in vintage wallpaper and lined with sparkling candy jars filled with candies fine enough to make even adults get weak at the knees, and will strike children positively dumb with delight. Glossy caramels? Top-notch licorice? Handmade cotton candy? Point to what you want and the counterpeople will weigh it out into little crackling bags; to hurry home with one clutched in your hot little hand is sheer bliss.

Miette is located at 449 Octavia Blvd. (at Linden Alley in Hayes Valley), San Francisco. 415-626-6221, miettcakes.com.

You may have wondered over them at grocery stores: Reddi-Whip sized cans colored snack-tastic gold and red, and inside…what is this? Organic pancake and waffle batter? Well, it is a pain to get up and make pancakes who are barking for their breakfasts, but this is just too weird, right?

No! It’s delicious! Chowhounds like it! YumSugar likes it! And since they would happily eat a cardboard circle for breakfast if it were covered with syrup, you’re darn tootin’ that kids like it.

The inventor of the product, Sean O’Connor, is a local boy. He used to be a co-owner of Thee Parkside in the early 2000s before he quit to pimp waffle batter, and the company’s main office is still in S.F. So when you plunk down your $5.99 (ouch) for a can of Batter Blaster, you can feel good about supporting a weird local inventor.

Batter Blaster is available at Whole Foods and many other stores in the Bay Area. Find a retailer near you at the Batter Blaster website.

If you have an indifferent nurser or a bad latcher, you may find yourself getting a little paranoid that your newborn isn’t getting enough milk. Is she getting anything at all? How much? Why aren’t there ounces marked on your breasts, anyway?

A call to the pediatrician will net you the following sage advice: if the baby is breastfeeding and gaining weight, he’s getting enough. But who knows if the kid’s gaining weight when she only weighs as much as a economy-size bottle of detergent? How can you tell the difference between 7 pounds and 7 pounds, 1 ounce? Are you supposed to whip out the postal scale or what?

Here’s a better option: soothing retail outlet DayOne (locations in San Francisco’s Laurel Village and Palo Alto) offers gliders and nursing pillows aside precision baby scales. You bring in your baby, strip him down and weigh him, then breastfeed and weigh again. There, you see! You’re doing just fine. Stick around DayOne to browse the parenting library, attend a support group, or just sit with other mamas nursing their babies; the store’s a vital resource for parents of infants and young kids.

Are you enjoying San Francisco in the springtime as much as we are?

Film Night in the Park: The Wizard of Oz

Watch the children’s classic on a blanket under the stars. Dress warmly and watch for flying monkeys in the trees.

When: Sat., 5/17, 8pm; All ages; Free ($3-6 donation encouraged).
Where: Dolores Park, 18th St. (at Dolores St.), San Francisco, 415-453-4333, filmnight.org.

Lollipop Family Fun Run

Make the whole family sweat at this kid-friendly 1-mile or 5K run. There’s a party at the finish line featuring a DJ, scavenger hunt and face-painting, and all participants get a T-shirt and goodie bag. Strollers are welcome, and all proceeds benefit Girls on the Run running club.

When: Sat., 4/17, Registration begins at 9am, runs begin at 10am; All ages; $15-30.

Where: Meet in front of the De Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive (at JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park), San Francisco, 415-831-2700 or 415-863-8942, gotrbayarea.org.
Young at Art: SFUSD Art Festival Family Day

Celebrate budding young artists at this annual festival where thousands of K-12 kids display their visual or performance art. Admission to the de Young is free today, with performances from young dancers and actors at noon and 1pm.

When: Sat., 5/17, 9:30am-5pm (festival continues through May 25); All ages; Free.

Where: De Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive (at JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park), San Francisco, 415-863-3330, youngatartsf.com.

Zany Patterns: Quilting With a Twist

A teenage quilter shows kids aged 6-12 how to make paper quilts, a great way to experiment with color, form, and design.

When: Sat., 4/17, 2pm; Age 6-12; Free with museum admission, free-$8.

Where: Zeum, 221 Fourth St. (at Howard), San Francisco, 415-820-3320, zeum.org.

Feel that sun? It’s San Francisco’s summertime, and it’s time to think about swimming before the weather cools back off in July. If you haven’t already signed up for a series of swimming lessons somewhere like San Bruno’s tony La Petite Baleen or the magnificent pool at UCSF’s Mission Bay location, it’s not too late to get in on classes offered by San Francisco Recreation and Park — though most courses aren’t open for Internet registration until June, calling Recreation and Park at 415-831-2747 can usually find you an open space in one of the local pools. Classes are offered for kids as young as six months or as old as 17, and many are incredibly cheap or free.

If you can wait a few weeks, the new cycle of classes at the dreamily warm pool at the Janet Pomeroy Center out by the SF Zoo start June 9. Kids aged 3 and under get an introduction to water in the Cuttlefish classes; those aged 3-6 may opt for the Penguin option, in which kids learn swimming skills. There’s no schedule online for classes, but Cuttlefish classes are offered generally in the late mornings Tuesday through Friday, while Penguin classes are Tuesday and Friday afternoons. The online information is hopeless; call 415-665-4241 for questions and to register. Students in swim diapers are accepted.

Prefer drop-in pool time? The JCC offers daily Family Swim time free to members or to those who can pay the rather steep day fee, $20 for adults and $10 for kids. Most of the public pools in San Francisco offer open swim times as well, and for a much more reasonable $4 for adults and $2 for kids. Each pool has a different schedule, so finding the right location and pool may take some clicking around. But SF Rec and Park does admit kids in swim diapers, a bonus for those with smaller kids, if not the rest of us.

So how are you celebrating Children’s Book Week (May 12-18)? Themed cocktails? A festive backyard barbecue? Sex with the spouse? With the focus on kids and books, why not give your commemoration a local spin with these six great reads from Bay Area authors.

The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket. The first and still the best of the delightfully dismal chapter-books in the “Series of Unfortunate Events” penned by SF’s answer to Edward Gorey.

It’s Okay to be Different, by Todd Parr. Local law dictates that you own one of the primary-colored picture books by this Berkeley resident Parr, who espouses Bay Area-friendly values like “Some mommies drive motorcycles” and “It’s okay to have a different nose.”

Rechenka’s Eggs by Patricia Polacco. Polacco recently moved to Union City, Michigan, after living in Oakland for almost four decades. But just because she defected from the Bay Area is no reason to blow off this sweet, simple tale of an amazing goose that lays eggs brilliant enough to wow the crowd at a Russian spring festival.

Mr. Lunch Takes a Plane Ride by J. Otto Seibold. Seibold is best known for his endearing Olive the Other Reindeer, but this particular book, with its hectic illustrations and wacky inventions (like a “scientific super cake” where every piece is a different flavor), is my family’s favorite.

Hannah Is My Name by Belle Yang. Yang is the author of several adult memoirs about her family, but this lyrical and moving picture book focused on a Chinese family desperately trying to secure American citizenship is aimed squarely at kids who may not know enough to appreciate their luck at being born in the U.S.

The Many Adventures of Pengey Penguin by John Burns. Ideal for families with adopted kids, this three-handkerchief illustrated tale for school-age kids follows Pengey’s misadventures as he searches for his human “mother” across several continents.

Along with meals in white-tablecloth restaurants and morning sex, you can wave goodbye to going to grownup movies once you spawn. Bringing a tot, even a quiet and tiny one, into a film guarantees almost as many glares as breastfeeding a three-year-old on a Muni bus.

So why not frequent one of the many baby-friendly movie showings in San Francisco? Great! Except, there aren’t any. The Red Vic discontinued its Bring Your Own Baby monthly showings (lack of attendance) and the Metreon shut down its weekly Reel Moms screenings. Things got so bad I personally resorted to attending preschool film events at the public libraries.

But I won’t need to watch those wavery filmstrips anymore, now that the Vogue Theatre has launched its Tuesday Baby Matinee series, a film fiesta for parents/caregivers and their young monkeys. Thankfully, they have avoided the Metreon’s mistake and are programming gentle adult fare instead of kids’ movies (which you can go to anyway, am I right?). The lights are raised, the sound is lowered, and no one’s going to give you the stink eye if your baby bursts into hysterics just as Patrick Dempsey lays one on Michelle Monaghan (oh, is that a spoiler? My bad). There’s not much room for strollers inside the theater so leave them at home if you can; or use the hourly parking at the JCC around the corner at California and Presidio and leave the stroller in the trunk. You bring the Junior Mints and I’ll share my Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.

When: Tue., 5/13, 11am; All Ages; Adults $7.50, Kids under 2 free.

Where: Vogue Theatre, 3290 Sacramento (at Presidio), San Francisco, 415-346-2274, Voguesf.com.

Breakfast in bed is nice and all, but who’s going to clean up the kitchen when the DCs have used every bowl and plate in the house to make it? Ask the little rugrats to take you to a teahouse instead, where the cakes are petite, the scones are freshly made, and someone else is in the kitchen washing up cups.

Lovejoy’s Tea Room: Tables at the queen of traditional tea houses are set with a hodge-podge of gorgeous vintage china, making tea here either a pleasure (for older kids or adults) or a nightmare (for younger kids). Squashy tea sandwiches are freshly made; desserts and cakes are perfect bite-size delights. 1341 Church St. (at Clipper St.), San Francisco, 415-648-5895, lovejoystearoom.com.

Secret Garden: Little girls in particular will love this gingerbread-y joint right across the street from Golden Gate Park. Try on one of the teahouse’s hats and order a Princess Tea; the food’s not as pristine as at other tea spots, but you’ll feel a lot more welcome with a smallish kid. 721 Lincoln (between 8th and 9th Aves.), San Francisco, 415-566-8834, secretgardenteahouse.com.

Leland Tee: This modern tea house eschews the fusty Victorian vibe for a sexy French brasserie feel. They take their tea seriously too, leaving scores of samples at the front counter for customers to sniff and examine before they try, and encouraging drinkers to come up with their own blends. Try a fresh scone, and don’t forget to specially request clotted cream, as it isn’t standard. Organic and Fair Trade teas available. 1416 Bush St. (at Polk St.), San Francisco, 415-346-4832, www.lelandtea.com.

Modern Tea: Hands down, the best food at a tea house in San Francisco. Try the moist chicken “meatloaf”, and order a tea flight for tasting; just put yourself in your waiter’s hands and he or she will bring you to brewed ecstasy. The dining room is breezy, the chairs are comfortable, and strolling through Hayes Valley is a lovely way to work off your caffeine buzz. 602 Hayes St. (at Laguna St.), San Francisco, 415-626-4406, moderntea.com.

Samovar Tea Lounge: Like Leland and Modern Tea, Samovar also works that up-to-date, sleek and sexy vibe. Its unusual teas (like the smoky, addictive Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy) and sensuous, multi-culti food make dining here a sophisticated experience quite unlike a traditional English tea house. Two locations: 498 Sanchez St. (at 18th St.), San Francisco, 415-626-4700; 730 Howard (upper terrace of Yerba Buena Gardens), San Francisco, 415-227-9400, samovartea.com.

May breakfast in bed be coming your way.

SFC Double Dutch Classes

Double dutch bus walking down the street, classes at Cellspace will help you learn to work your feet. Boys and girls aged 7-18 learn the fast-paced jump rope dance for fitness and fun. An adult class follows the kids’ class, for mamas and papas who want to stay and learn some new tricks.

When: Ongoing Sundays starting 5/11, 12-1:30pm; Age 7-18; $25 drop-in, 5 classes $95.
Where: Cellspace, 2050 Bryant (at 18th St.), San Francisco, 415-939-2225, Cellspace.org.

KFOG KaBoom!

More than 30,000 people are supposed to show up at this annual live music-and-fireworks show, which this year features the strains of Los Lobos and Collective Soul. The music and crowds are too much for very little ones, but spunky kids age 6 and up can handle it. And all ages will enjoy the fireworks that cap off the show at 9pm, synchronized to KFOG’s broadcast on 104.5 FM. If your kid’s too little to appreciate a humanity-strewn band show, drive over to the piers, put KFOG on the radio, and get ready to ooh and aah.

When: Sat., 5/10, 4pm; All ages; $15-20.
Where: Pier 30/32 - Embarcadero and Brannan (south of the Bay Bridge), San Francisco, Kfog.com.

Mothers’ Day BikeAbout

You can teach a kid to bike in the city, but where are they going to ride? All through the San Francisco Zoo, where cyclists take an early ramble through the grounds before walking patrons are let in. Maybe you’ll catch the animals yawning and stretching in the fresh morning air.

When: Sun., 5/11, 8:30-10:o0am; All ages; $25-30 for bicyclists, $7 for kids on parents’ bikes.
Where: San Francisco Zoo, Sloat Blvd. (at Great Highway), 415-753-7073, sfzoo.org.

SFC Double Dutch Classes

Double dutch bus walking down the street, classes at Cellspace will help you learn to work your feet. Boys and girls aged 7-18 learn the fast-paced jump rope dance for fitness and fun. An adult class follows the kids’ class, for mamas and papas who want to stay and learn some new tricks.

When: Ongoing Sundays starting 5/11, 12-1:30pm; Age 7-18; $25 drop-in, 5 classes $95.
Where: Cellspace, 2050 Bryant (at 18th St.), San Francisco, 415-939-2225, Cellspace.org.

Patrick Carman reading

Meet the bestselling author of the “Land of Elyon” series at the spiffy Laurel Village outpost of Books Inc. as Carman reads from River of Fire, the second book in his “Atherton” series.

When: Fri, 5/9, 6:30pm; Age 5+; Free.
Where: Books Inc., 3515 California (at Locust), San Francisco,415-221-3666, Booksinc.net.

Hi parents of kids aged 3-4! I know that you just yesterday got your kid into preschool, but it’s already time to start thinking about kindergarten. You may have heard your friends with older kids having anxious conversations about the San Francisco Unified School District’s lottery school-assignment system. It all starts with info-gluts like tonight’s Kindergarten Information night, a festive evening of chatting with administrators and teachers from more than 60 kindergartens around the city. Get ready for handouts, because Good Parent Regulation 602.31 requires your attendance.

When: Wed., 5/7, 6-8pm, Adults only; Free.

Where: Jewish Community Center, 3200 California St. (at Presidio), San Francisco, 415-292-1283, jccsf.org.